Live auction · 1 of 37 seats taken
Your app icon,
on my wrist.
Thirty-seven circles fit on an Apple Watch home screen. Every one of them is for sale. watchOS draws the icons nearer the middle bigger — and so does the price list.
$29 raised
goal $799
The goal is one Apple Watch Ultra 3. Anything over it buys the cellular plan that keeps the face online away from a phone.
Drag the face. Icons grow toward the middle — that is what you are bidding on.
How it works
- 1
Take a seat
Tap a circle, paste your URL, pay. We read the apple-touch-icon off your own site, so there is nothing to export and nothing to upload. Cheapest seat open right now: $29.
- 2
Hold it
Anyone can take your seat by bidding ten dollars over. If they do, your money stays in the pot and the seat moves — so retaking it is another bid, not an argument. No refunds for the outbid, and that is the whole rule.
- 3
Get worn
When the clock stops, the face gets built exactly as it stands and goes on the watch. One photo of it on my wrist, one post naming every sponsor. That is the whole deliverable and it is deliberately small — nobody should be buying a year of maintenance from a stranger on the internet.
Every seat, and what it costs
Four rings. The price is the distance from the middle, because on this device that is also the size.
The centre dot
The one seat that is never drawn small. Dead centre, full size, the first thing on screen every time the wrist comes up.
1 of 1 open · from $499
- OpenThe centre dot$499to open
Inner ring
Six seats touching the centre. Always on screen, always large, never more than a flick from the middle.
6 of 6 open · from $199
- OpenInner ring · seat 1$199to open
- OpenInner ring · seat 2$199to open
- OpenInner ring · seat 3$199to open
- OpenInner ring · seat 4$199to open
- OpenInner ring · seat 5$199to open
- OpenInner ring · seat 6$199to open
Middle ring
Twelve seats, one turn of the crown out. Comfortably readable, and where most people stop scrolling.
12 of 12 open · from $79
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 1$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 2$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 3$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 4$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 5$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 6$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 7$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 8$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 9$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 10$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 11$79to open
- OpenMiddle ring · seat 12$79to open
The fringe
Eighteen seats on the rim, rendered small and half off the edge. Which is exactly why they are cheap.
17 of 18 open · from $29
- OpenThe fringe · seat 1$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 2$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 3$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 4$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 5$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 6$29to open
- Brand My Apple WatchThe fringe · seat 7$291 bid
- OpenThe fringe · seat 8$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 9$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 10$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 11$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 12$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 13$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 14$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 15$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 16$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 17$29to open
- OpenThe fringe · seat 18$29to open
What the money buys
The machine
Apple Watch Ultra 3
- Case
- 49mm titanium
- Display
- 410 × 502, 3000 nits
- Screen area
- about 2.5 cm²
- Always-On
- yes — the icons never sleep
- Battery
- 72 hours
- Price
- $799
The arithmetic
43,070
wrist raises, if I wore it for a year. 118 a day is Apple's own figure for a typical wearer, times 365 days.
Presented in the spirit of every other media kit you have been sent. It is one pair of eyes — mine — plus whoever is across the table. The number is real arithmetic on a silly premise, which is roughly what the rest of the advertising industry is doing too.
Questions worth asking
Who actually sees this?
Me, constantly. Anyone I am talking to when I check the time. Everyone who reads this page — which, honestly, is the number that matters. This is an advertising stunt about advertising; the watch is the excuse and the page is the product.
Is there a real watch?
There will be, once the bar fills. The goal is exactly the retail price of a Apple Watch Ultra 3, the face gets built as it stands, and the photo goes up. If the bar never fills, everything raised still goes on a watch — a cheaper one — and the post says so plainly. What I am not promising is to keep it on there forever, because that is not a promise a stranger on the internet can hold you to.
Do I pay when I bid?
Yes. A bid is a payment, taken by Stripe at the moment you place it. That is what stops the board filling with people who are not serious, and it is why the numbers on this page are real money rather than promises.
What happens if someone outbids me?
You lose the seat, not the money — your payment stays in the pot and still counts toward the goal. Retaking the seat means placing a new bid at least $10 above the standing one. Nothing is refunded, to anyone, ever. Decide before you pay, not after.
Can any brand buy a seat?
Almost. Artwork is reviewed before it goes live, and anything hateful, sexual, or pretending to be somebody else is refused — the seat stays sold, the picture does not go up, and you can send different art. Crypto and gambling are judged case by case, which is a polite way of saying it depends on how the icon looks.
What do the first three bids get?
Founding sponsor, permanently. Named in every photo, every video, and the wrap-up post, wherever their seat ends up and whether or not they are later outbid. It is the only thing here that money cannot buy once it is gone.
Is this affiliated with Apple?
No. Not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by Apple Inc. Apple Watch, watchOS and Apple are their trademarks. I am a person buying one of their products at full price and putting stickers on it, metaphorically.
Is this a joke?
Yes, and the money is real. This is one link in a chain of people selling each other worse and worse advertising space — a MacBook lid, then a Mac Mini facing a wall, now 2.5cm² of watch screen. The bit is the product. What you are buying is a circle on a page that a lot of people are going to look at, plus a photograph of a watch. If you need it to be more than that, do not bid.
Hi, I am the seller.
I build small websites that run on odd rules. This one sells the smallest advertising space I could find, on the theory that the space is not the product — the argument about the space is.
You get a circle on a watch face and a year of a stranger checking the time. I get a watch. Everyone reading this gets to decide whether that is a market or a bit, which is a decision I am deliberately not making for you.